Communication in Relationships

Good communication is key to having human relationships. It doesn’t matter what type of relationship it is. Whether it be a friendship, dating, marriage, family relationships, etc., all relationships require good communication to withstand the trials that we are each faced with. In chapter 9 of the book, Lauer and Lauer, it defines communication as “the use of language and non-verbal signs to create shared meaning between two or more people.” The satisfaction or the dissatisfaction of family life and marriage is rooted in the way they communicate. It can make or break any relationship. There are different types of communication. The first type is verbal communication. This is the main type that pops up into your head when you think of communication because it is the main one. This is how people speak to each other. It is the use of words to convey our feelings and words with others. Even though people communicate with words, there are several different meanings for some things people say to each other. In the book, it gave an example of “I love you”. this can mean that you have deep feelings for someone and sexually attracted to them, or it could just mean that you care for them deeply. You can say this to your kids and also your spouse and have it mean two different things. We as humans know that, and can pick up on those different signals that are given to us directly or indirectly.

 Another form of communication is nonverbal communication. It is stated in the book, “equally important as the words we use, is the way we express them- nonverbal cues that we use while communicating, cues that are crucial to understanding and building fulfilling intimate relationships”. Many people don’t think that nonverbal communication isn’t a big part, but it is. Experts say that between 50 to 80 percent of the meaning of what we say is through the use of nonverbal communication. Nonverbal cues include many things. One type is the clothes you wear. If you are going out on a first date, what you wear says a lot about you and what you are looking for. Facial expressions are a big part in nonverbal communication. You may be saying one things, but your face says the complete opposite. People are going to believe your facial expressions more, in personal experience. Touching is another form of nonverbal communication. Between lovers, if you are constantly wanting to hold you significant others hand, kiss them, and be in contact with them, it lets the other person know that you love them. On the other hand, gripping someone might indicate frustration or anger.

Behavior is also a way of communication. If someone is talking to you and you act like you don’t care, they are not going to want to continue on the conversation with you. it is important to show that you are engaged and interested in what they are saying. In the book, it gave a great example of smiling. The example reads, “females generally smile more than males. For women, smiling is a way to acknowledge the presence of someone else in a non-threatening way. A man, however, may interpret a woman’s smile to mean that she finds him sexually attractive.” This example is true. Women tend to be more kind and give a smile to people. This does not mean that they are sexually attracted to them or even that they want to get to know them. All it means is a friendly hello, nothing more than that.

In closing, it is so important to communicate with others in a healthy way. It is also imperative to pay attention to the nonverbal cues you give off, because you might not mean them in the way they are being interpreted. Use communication to better your relationships, not make them worse.