parenting

Parenting is something that everyone will experience in their life, one way or another. Even if they don’t have kids, they have been around kids or even babysat. Maybe you are an aunt or an uncle, but you still can experience parenting that way. There are a lot of things that go into being a good parent. Now days, parenting has changed a lot from how it used to be. In an article I read that was assigned to the class this week said that more and more parents are wanting to please their kids and avoid conflict. This is not right. Yes, sometimes it is good to avoid conflict, but not if it makes you compromise your parenting style and the rules you have put in place for your kids. An example that was given was kids and what they want to eat at the dinner table.

 Often times, parents will say “if you eat two more bites of peas, you can have your dessert” instead of the way it used to be. It used to be “no dessert until you eat all of your vegetables”. But now, there is a lot of compromise going on, and it makes the kids feel more in charge then the parents. But at the same time it is important for your kids to feel like they can come to you as a parent and talk to you about things. If there is never and give or take, it is not a healthy parent child relationship. In the article, it said that parents in North America are more prone to asking their kids rather than telling them. This can make the kids feel like they are more in charge rather than the parents.

There was a paragraph that struck me in the Collapse of Parenting article that reads, “Parents also want a democratic household where each family member has a say about what happens—Should we go outside now? Are we ready to have a bath? Would you like to have the party here? —and they cultivate independence and freedom of thought in their children. Strict obedience used to be praised; now it is seen as outdated and potentially dangerous. Compliance might mean your kid is a pushover, which no parent wants, especially as bullying has spread from the schoolyard to cyberspace.” This is a very thin line now, and continues to get thinner.

To me, there needs to be give and take in a parent relationship. Strict obedience is important, but if there is to much strictness, the child will feel like they can’t come to you with problems or not feel like they can confide in you. but at the same time, if your parenting style is too loose, the kid will feel like you are more of a friend than a parent. It is important to have a little bit of both parenting styles, in my opinion. That is how I hope to parent.